The Zetter Townhouse Cocktail Lounge, Clerkenwell

Type of Bar: Hotel, Lounge, Victorian
Damage: ££
Ideal for: Date, Small Groups

If you’re looking for the Zetter Townhouse Marylebone & Seymour’s Parlour (opened 2015), Click HERE!

A long-time favourite, The Zetter Townhouse Cocktail Lounge is where the Hoodooist fell in love with Tony Conigliaro’s work. The townhouse itself is hidden away and fairly discreet behind the more demanding Zetter Hotel and surrounding restaurants, but the design inside is unlike anything else in the area.

Deep reds lend to the Victorian-boyishness of the venue – between fireplaces crowned with stuffed parasol-wielding cats, and boxing kangaroos. Don’t let the ping-pong table in the Games Room (which can be hired for events) fool you; every inch of the luscious plushness of the venue is decorated with eccentricity. I could claim that this up there with the Artesian and Bar Americain (Click HERE for Review!) as one of the best looking bars in London.

The cocktail list is equally impressive. Altering every few months, some classics stay ever present. The general theme (at least amongst the most fascinating drinks) is short, but strong and intense in flavour, as well as being a bit experimental without trying far too hard – just the Hoodooist’s style, and reminiscent of the Megaro Bar.

Every single drink on the house cocktail list is one the Hoodooist would enjoy. Each is 9.5 (as well as house cocktails from the past no longer on the menu), but other drinks and classics will be 10.5 pounds.

Drie Van Drie (L), The Flintlock (R)

Let’s look at one of the shining glories of the list: The Flintlock. Beefeater 24 gin, gunpowder tea tincture, sugar, dandelion & burdock bitters, and Fernet Branca. It opens up with the Fernet Branca and gunpowder tea, leading to the strongest flavour of the drink: the dandelion sweetness. Sweet though it is, it never wanders far from the simmering deep fieriness of the more complex flavours.

The Drie Van Drie is present for whisky fans – infused with seaweed, with salted-liquorice bitters and sherry. Besides being a fantastic tipple, you may have to ask for another drop of the bitters to add a bit of complexity to it, or the whisky can overpower the rest of the cocktail. A very short drink, it still takes a while to enjoy with its strength and intensity. The seaweed is less of a punch-you-in-the-face flavour, but adds instead, an ambience to the experience. The sherry is unmistakable and warms the drinker nicely.

Foreground: Constantinople (L), Les Fleurs du Mal (R); Background: Milk Collins (L), The Ivy (R)

For long drinks, the Milk Collins is an excellent choice – don’t fear the milk syrup, it is spectacularly welcoming to what would otherwise be a classic gin/lemon/sugar/soda combo. Normally fearing the long drink, even the Hoodooist took to the Milk Collins pretty quickly. Otherwise, there is the mysterious Ivy, Perrier Jouet Champagne with sugar that has been doused in ivy aromatics is a drink (though long), but be drunk quickly after a couple of minutes of breathing. The first half of the drink is fairly uninteresting, but the last half suddenly explodes with an enchanting greenness from the ivy. Apologies, but ‘enchanting greenness’ is the only way I could describe the ivy – you’ll know it when you taste it.

Let’s end with the ‘Stairway to Heaven’ of the ZTH bar: Les Fleurs du Mal. It was removed from the menu quite a while ago, but the bartenders still get orders for it from old fans. Ordering it might be met with a sigh. Absinthe, rose vodka, lemon and egg white – the drink certainly has the strong absinthe flavour, the rose is faded behind the citrus. It’s worth trying if you’ve gone through the rest of the menu. It could do with a bit more rose, and less citrus.

Oh, and do not miss the anchovy-stuffed deep-fried olives, or the chocolate fudge. You will thank me later.

Service is excellent, informative, and engaging. Bartenders are happy to elaborate on drinks, make suggestions and knock something up if necessary. The ZTH is crowded most of the time, but service is much better when crowded. Exhaustion tends to set in when the bar finally empties out, so make the most of the crowded hours.

At the end of it all, it is difficult for me to find fault with the Zetter Townhouse Cocktail Lounge. Tony C. really put himself into this bar, and the décor is exquisite. With impeccable service and drinks, it is a wonderful place to get away from the City and seclude yourself amongst the couches, pillars and curtains of the ZTH. Still ranking as one of my favourite venues in London.

Update Late 2014: Since some staff changes, there has been a slight decline in service, a shame considering how the bar excels in other ways.

Drinks: *****
Atmosphere: *****
Service: ** – ***
The Zetter Townhouse Cocktail Lounge,

49-50 St John’s Square,
London, EC1V 4JJ

http://www.thezettertownhouse.com/clerkenwell/bar

Communion Bar, Camberwell

Jun25

Type of Bar: Hotel, Basement, Quirky, Theme
Damage: £ – ££
Ideal for: Date, Small Groups, Large Groups, Live Music

Who said church wasn’t fun.

This gem tucked away under Church St Hotel in Camberwell is a welcome addition to London’s bar retinue as of December. In fact, this is one of my longer reviews, going through so much of the menu – primarily because many of London’s cocktails bars seem to have forgotten that Happy Hour does not instantly make your bar a Yates. In fact, it is the perfect time for intimate drinks and snacks at Communion, with a wonderful cocktail list.

For one, can we talk about this design for a second? Coming through the heavy wood and metal-hinged door into the depths of the hotel’s basement, stained glass windows adorn the hardwood panelling, depicting various scenes from the Bible, primarily Genesis and Revelations – among them the Hoodooist’s favourite Biblical scene: The Worship of the Golden Calf, sprawling on the wall across from the bar.

There is a slightly infernal and deliciously sacrilegious feel about Communion – peculiarly macabre stained glass scenes in a dark, basement venue are paired with upbeat Soul and Funk tunes, and on weekends, live bands of the same genres. You’ll notice no bar stools to make the most of the space to dance to the live bands.

Taking our seat, we notice that each table comes with communion wafers and a beautiful little shot of red wine, poured daily. I gave it a moment’s thought – what I love about the atmosphere here is that it has a strong theme, without it becoming gimmicky by overwhelming you with introductions, stories, character bartenders/servers – or having to come up with a film noir story to get in (*ahem*). The mini-Eucharist was all that was necessary, and the most it should do, to keep the theme without over-doing it. Just about right.

Looking at the menu, it is longer than at first glance – and incredibly varied. The theme of the first page is that each drink is dedicated to the different cultures that define the bricolage of South London’s landscape.

Our first drink, the sweet Tannery (Vodka, Araku rum coffee liqueur, Nigerian Guiness foam and chilly chocolate) is an excellent espresso-less Espresso Martini. The coffee flavour of the Araku and the head of Nigerian Guiness dishes it out adequately, and the edible chocolate rim that you can nibble away at throughout the drink is a great perk – a perfect balance of coffee and chocolate. The Dry Cherry Ilegal (Ilegal Mezcal, juice of grilled Sicilian lemons, Cherry Marnier and bitters. Served straight up with Amarena Cherry sugar rim) comes with one of my favourite mezcals, whose light smokiness carries the initial citrus of the drink, which opens up on the cherry and the intense sweetness of the sugar rim. Don’t let that fool you into thinking the drink is overwhelmingly sweet, it certainly isn’t – the Sicilian lemon’s tartness mediates it well. Could use a teensy bit more mezcal.

The Ortanique Grind & Bubble (L); and Dry Cherry Ilegal (R).

The Pretty Little Shanty Town (Dark rum, Velvet Falernum, lime, ginger, orange bitters & molasses) begins strongly with ginger and Falernum’s spiciness, ending on the sweetness of the rum and rounded off with the molasses. The garnish of this drink is more the star, with orange slices dried in situ, and irresistible Spanish honeycomb. The Ortanique Grind & Bubble (dash of Punt E Mes, Vanilla & orange flower infused Stolichnaya, home-made limoncello, fresh Jamaican Ortanique & Prosecco) is a wonderfully fresh and lively drink. The prosecco is, like in all bubbly drinks, the most demanding flavour, but otherwise, the drink opens on the Ortanique and limoncello, leading into the strong Punt e Mes. The Orange flower is somewhat detectable, but I had trouble finding the vanilla.

Less balanced drinks: The Calvary’s (Dicatador Rum, morello cherry, lime, egg white, St John Commandaria wine) sweet wine unfortunately has a tendency to drown out the flavour of the rum, though the morello cherry does eventually take charge – a decent drink, but less so compared to the previous ones. Similarly, the Fresh & Loose’s Scandinavian twist (Beefeater 24 shaken with fresh cucumber, dill, fennel, citrus and egg white, with couple dashes of Peychaud’s bitters) was dominated by cucumber and citrus, with flashes of dill – but still a well crisp drink.

The one drink I was not impressed by was the Outlaw (Jim Beam, home-made cranberry syrup, mint, sugar & chocolate bitters), which was drowned out by the strength of the mint.

The Pretty Little Shanty Town (L); and Fresh & Loose (R).

WHEW. This’ll take up a whole Sunday.

Service through all this was absolutely delightful, attentive, and conversational – we couldn’t have asked for a better hostess. Bartenders were quick and on the ball with their home-made ingredients – there is real talent here.

Really falling for Communion, I almost don’t want to tell you about it. A bit out of the way to get to, but worth the travel; Communion Bar is a rare cocktail bar in the area, and certainly sets the bar high. The Hoodooist looks forward to returning.

Drinks: ****
Atmosphere: *****
Service: ****

Communion Bar

Church ST Hotel,
29-33 Camberwell Church St,
Camberwell,
London SE5 8TR

http://www.communionbar.com

Mandarin Bar, Mandarin Oriental, Knightsbridge

Jun12

Type of Bar: Hotel, Oriental
Damage: ££££
Ideal for: Date. Welp, you can’t fit any more people in here.

The Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park is less of a destination and more of a pitstop. It’s an ‘I haven’t got a table for the Blumenthal yet’ kind of purgatory.

Finding ourselves here after a friend’s birthday dinner, I suppose we were expecting an indulgent, becouched, besuited den of iniquity, but instead found short-sleeve shirts and a tiny bar.

The environment and décor felt a bit dated, but not dated enough. The 90s pan-Asian feel and cramped spaces were awkward. The lounge music suffered a similar problem. But if you were lucky enough to find yourself in a comfortable space like we had, you’d have a chance to deconstruct the cocktail menu in your own time.

Which was odd. It’s insistence on an ‘Oriental’ feel ended up with a minestrone issue. “Is this flavor used on the other side of the planet? Let’s throw it in with half a dozen other ingredients, one spirit and probably some bubbly.” None of the drinks really stood out. One example is the Fig Martini – drowned in pineapple juice. The Grass Mule, for example, would have made a fantastic East Asian Martini without the ginger beer.

In need of a warming drink, I went for the Dine (Cognac, Port, red wine, Angostura, almond, lemon), which was pleasant enough, but not much to write home about. It stood out because unlike many of the drinks, it was alcohol-based with flavor – instead of a juice smoothie with alcohol thrown in for kick. I must applaud the use of avocado in the drinks as well, which is a nice change from egg white for similar texture.

Of course, if juicy drinks are your thing, by all means make your way to the Mandarin, but judge if 16.50 is what you want to pay for one drink that doesn’t feel all that deserving – especially when you have similarly priced giants like the Savoy or the Dukes – I don’t see myself rushing back any time soon.

NOTE: I would give drinks 3 stars to make room for those who enjoy juicier drinks, but with the price they are charging for mediocrity, I am tempted to give it only 2 stars.

Drinks: ** (***, possibly.)
Atmosphere: **
Service: ***

The Mandarin Bar
Mandarin Oriental Hotel,
66 Knightsbridge,
London SW1X 7LA

www.mandarinoriental.com/london/fine-dining/mandarin-bar/‎

Peg + Patriot, Bethnal Green

May28

Type of Bar: Hotel, Experimental
Damage: ££
Ideal for: Date, Small Groups, Originality

First, let’s deal with the first thing you see upon entering the Town Hall.

Alright then, turn right after that into the Peg + Patriot, barely a fortnight old. The décor, simple, dimly lit and unabashedly minimalist leaves the bartenders at centre stage (with all their own homemade spirits!) for the patrons to observe.

Experimental bartender, Matt Whiley, is bringing his skills from his last venture as the pop up-then-permanent Talented Mr. Fox at One Leicester St. to his own bar here at the Town Hall, and does so with spectacular new developments in style.

By which I mean, the menu. I was thrilled by the look of it; it is so different from the previous bars he has been associated with. There is a confidence to it that is so refreshing. My main concern with the previous menus was each drink trying to accomplish too much, too fast – I doubt they were being obnoxious, as much as trying to be novel – which they were. But the new menu seems to have evolved to be more self-aware, relying on either one powerful flavour, or two subtler ones to work together instead of trying to constantly outdo itself and the drinker.

Nonetheless, each drink was a surprise, and one never really gets what they expect. This can be for better or worse, depending on the drink. Let’s review the best first.

The Pho Money Pho Problems is exquisite – Pho spirit and lime, with pak choi and lime leaf as aromatics provides an excellent, almost gimlet like drink. Strong, potent, in both content and flavour. The spices all come through, coriander, ginger, chilli, it summarised my entire experience with Mr. Whiley: wondering if I was hallucinating the meat or not. Wonderfully smooth and savoury, a definite try.

Another hit was the Rice Rice Baby, roasted rice ice cream liqueur in sparkling Cocchi Brut. Exactly what it says on the tin. The flavour of the roasted rice and… is that hazelnut?… grows stronger further down the drink, but rarely tiresome. Not a complex drink, but a satisfying one.

Left to Right: D. Groner; Rice Rice Baby; Barley Legal

But then, there are some questions to be raised.

What made the D. Groner (Cognac, bitters, salt beef beigel and lime) interesting was first, the mustard leaf on the nose, then the incredible beefy coating of the mouthfeel. Otherwise though, I’m afraid the drink was mostly, well, cognac. Nonetheless, the cognac was satisfying, but in the end, it was the mouthfeel that made it unique and essentially, not just a glass of cognac. I guess I expected a bit more since the beef really came through in the Talented Mr. Fox’s Peasant’s Breakfast.

There was a similar opinion of the Batanga: Blanco Tequila, Chinato Cola Vermouth, lime, cherry salt rim. The rim was far too salty to make the most of the cherry – and the tequila’s dilution made it almost unnecessary compared to reason why there is a salt rim on a margarita. The tequila itself is wonderful, but like the D. Groner, it feels like diluted tequila. Here is a drink with great potential, but didn’t live up to it – this time.

Finally, the 142^nd + Lenox. I need someone to explain this to me because it went right over my head. Moonshine Kid White Ape (Sweetcorn and cornflakes distillate), peach shrub, egg white and a few drops of coal oil. Primarily cornflakes on the nose, the flavour is all peach and the coal oil is essentially, well, bitter drops of coal. I felt like this was an example of the previous ventures’ hubris. Okay, hubris is a strong word, but I’m still lost on exactly what this drink is trying to accomplish.

Left to Right: Pho Money Pho Problems; Batanga; 142nd + Lenox

All that said, I am still expecting to return and try out the Riot Cup Number One: White port, o’Clock Sugar (the sugar distilled from Pimms), cucumber phosphate (the acidity from cucumbers), ginger ale; and the Rye Your Eyes Mate (mustard maple herbs liqueur?), though it sounds like it’s attempting too much. The Vesgroni is also on my list, though I’m expecting a viscous Negroni.

So, I suppose, yes, there is still obnoxiousness to the ingredients on the menu (then again, how different is that to being 19 and asking what Fernet Branca is? It’s fun to feel young again,), but service is less so, and servers are happy to explain it to you as long as they’re in a good mood (“Could you tell us more about the coal oil?” – “It’s coal.” – “Oh. Okay.”) Otherwise, service is rather decent.

In short? One can’t take away Mr. Whiley’s striving for originality, even if it makes the ingredients exhausting to keep asking details for. The good news is to see a certain amount of restraint and confidence in the menu’s construction, creating one that stands stronger to the previous. A definite amount of props has to be given to the use of homemade spirits, and excited to see what their future with shots is going to bring – I imagine each shot to hopefully come with aromatic pairings.

Peg + Patriot might have a mixed review, but it certainly makes for an excellent day out trying each one and discovering something new, even if it is just cognac with unique mouthfeel, or as much as pho as a cocktail (still in love). I look forward to returning to try out more of the menu.

Drinks: **** (Caveat emptor, come with an open mind)
Atmosphere: ***
Service: ***

Peg + Patriot, Town Hall Hotel,

Patriot Square,
Bethnal Green,
London, E2 9NF

http://www.pegandpatriot.com

Scarfes Bar, High Holborn

Jan10

Type of Bar: Hotel, Lounge
Damage: £££ – ££££
Ideal for: Date, Meetings

My friend put it best: The Scarfes Bar looks like the Zetter Townhouse‘s conservative older brother. The design is impeccable, the three major dominating aspects of the room: the enormous fireplace, the mirror above it, and the central chandelier work together instead of clashing in their shameless grandiosity. The dress code for the venue is ‘casual’, so expect to see business meetings or couples coming over from the Holborn Dining Room across the hall.

Staff and young and snazzy, and take a while getting around the giant room. The cocktail list is short, but off-menu classics can be ordered. Rather unlike the Zetter Townhouse, though, drinks are long and refreshing.

These aren’t usually my style, so I had to keep an open mind when my Seine River Fizz (Grey Goose vodka, Domaine de Canton ginger, lime juice, basil leaves, Fentimans Victorian lemonade – topped with a cap of Elderflower foam) arrived. I was pleasantly surprised that I had actually enjoyed it, although I have to admit that without the elderflower foam, the drink would have lost any and all character. The initial punch of Elderflower really makes the drink what it is. In fact, it is the major hit on the nose, and the flavour for the first half of the drink. The last half certainly has a slight basil flavour, without becoming too green and intense, which might be a good thing. The ginger, though, is barely detectable.

If there is any unfortunate aspect to anything, is that drinks range between 12.50 and 14.50 pounds. 11 or 12 I would have been happy to pay for my Seine River Fizz – 14.50, not as much. A mate echoed my sentiments on their drinks.

In any case, this beautiful bar’s long drinks and highballs are certainly worth a visit for if that is indeed your favour in drinks, otherwise, I’m afraid I can’t exactly recommend it, not for what they charge. Although I can see myself coming here for a coffee date and to study, with the incredible environment.

I have yet to try the Mirror Bar at the hotel, but have higher hopes for it.

Drinks:**? Perhaps ***?
Atmosphere: *****
Service: ***

Scarfes Bar
Rosewood Hotel,
252 High Holborn,
London WC1V 7EN

www.scarfesbar.com/‎

ME London’s Marconi Lounge and Radio Rooftop, The Strand

Nov2

Type of Bar: Hotel, Marconi: Lounge; Radio: Rooftop
Damage: ££
Ideal for: Date, Small Groups, View

Every press call this hotel has made (in re: the Marconi and Radio) has been about how it was the place to “see and be seen”.

I’d rather not be.

The Marconi Lounge comes with the minimalist New York gloss of silver and monochrome. It isn’t uncomfortable, but its effort for chicness somehow robs the lounge of it. Keeno, I believe the kids call it. The most memorable aspect of this visit was that the service was utterly, unshakably, unforgivably appalling. Slow, rude, miserable – and the place was practically empty. A bartender who obviously wasn’t, conjured up this mess of a cocktail after which we absconded to the rooftop expecting something perhaps a bit better with a view.

Marconi Lounge, ME London

Service on the roof was swifter, but just as cold. The terrace comes equipped with couches and several tables and heating lamps, the works. What really sells (probably all that sells) the Radio Rooftop is the incredible view. The OXO, Somerset House, the Southbank in its glory, all the way East to the Shard. After a game of ‘I can see my house from here’, we finally settled onto the deep beds and had a whisk through the menu.

I do have a natural prejudice against rooftop bars – the aloof attitude of paying far less attention to service, cocktails or clientele simply because they are offering a terrace where visitors can pretend to be self-important for a moment. Perhaps this is exciting the first couple of times, maybe it’s because I grew up in a city made of high-rises, but I’m not so grabbed anymore, and am less desperate to forgive the misgivings. I will give it this, of the various rooftop bars around London, this provides one of the best vantages.

The Sex and the City atmosphere is reflected in the whimsical drinks that came off more as juices than cocktails. If you can imagine four actresses on a terribly unfunny HBO show clinking Cosmos together, you are getting a drift about the cocktail list. I settled for the MY Cherry (their all-caps) – a whiskey and cherry affair. The scent wasn’t masked, so was harsh on the nose, peculiar considering the drink tasted essentially of a cherry/lemon juice. I was really wondering what that 10 pounds was worth. It feels like the cocktails are trying to impress, but aren’t. There is no sense of it being aware that it isn’t spectacular, there is a genuine belief that it is. Not much different from the clientele.

Radio Rooftop, ME London

You know that trope that states that if you look in the modern day, or really far back – nothing looks uncanny. But somewhere in between, things get strange. This stereotypically 90s venue is essentially that. Avoid the Marconi Lounge at all costs, and come up to the Radio Rooftop for the view. Not as an escape from the bustling streets though, because it’s crowded up here, too.

I did always say avoid velvet ropes.

PS: They usually forget to cover the sofas, so if it rains 3 days before, all the sofas will be stinking wet. Who has bets on mould?

Drinks: Marconi: *; Radio: **
Atmosphere: **
Service: **

ME Hotel London,
336-337 The Strand,
London WC2R 1HA

http://melondon.londonhotels.it/

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